With the Finals Draws now determined, the countdown to next year’s soccer World Cup can begin in earnest.  Despite serious initial fears about the event not being able to be held because of organizational difficulties, there is now no doubt that it will take place as scheduled.

President Zuma has asked that South Africans welcome the many visitors with “warm hearts.”  He has also stated, in an interview this month with Danny Jordaan of the Organizing Committee, that the cup “must not leave the continent.”  Given this demand, and ANC policies in South Africa to-date, we can make some calculated guesses as to some of the changes we’re likely to see at the tournament next year to ensure that it is more fair;

The ANC would insist that the Dutch team, popularly known as Oranje, change their nickname to “Colonialist Tigers”

Any white South African player found in the opposing team’s half, will have his citizenship removed.

In the name of equality, goals scored by European teams will be distributed evenly amongst those from Africa .

Any perceived foul upon a South African player will immediately be referred to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission after which South Africa will be awarded a penalty.

Affirmative action will be extended to all teams, requiring that at least half of all teams be comprised of ANC members.

All tournament balls will be redesigned to include an equal number of black and white patches.

In the name of “Land Reform” all teams opposing South Africa must double the size of their penalty boxes.

Given all of that, may the best team win!